Wednesday, December 30, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Diversity in the Bear Community Part 1 w/ David Goodman



How important is the representation of bears of color in advertising bear events? Should we expect bears of color to attend such events if they don’t feel welcome for the sake diversity in the bear community? In the latest episode of The M3 Bear Essentials, Male Media Mind contributors Tony Banks, Ali Lopez, Gerald Hogan, Mark O Estes, Jose Oquendo Mojica and special guest David Goodman of Bear World Magazine join host Malcolm Travers in a two part discussion about race in the bear community. 

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Dating Evolved

How different has your experience with online dating been from in-person forms of socializing? Have dating apps ruined young people’s communication skills, or is it just replacing older forms of technology such as newspapers and chat lines of yesteryear? In the latest episode of The M3 Bear Essentials, Male Media Mind contributors Lonnie JayBird Richardson, Chris Inpaq Sutton, Gerald Hogan, Jeffery Roman, Breeze Vincinz and Mark O Estes join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about the different way gay meet socialize and date.


Wednesday, December 16, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: His Second Choice


Could you wait for someone for someone you’re interested in to become available to date? Would you question a relationship in which you were his second choice? In the latest episode of The M3 Bear Essentials, Male Media Mind contributors Xavier Spann, Lonnie JayBird Richardson, Jose Oquendo Mojica, Jeffery Roman, Ali Lopez and Mark O Estes join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about compromising your self worth to be with the person you want.
 

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Femininity in Gay Men



What are some of the often overlooked indicators of femininity? Are we reluctant to point out the general differences in gay and straight men for fear that they will be used against us? n the latest episode of The M3 Bear Essentials, Male Media Mind contributors Xavier Spann, Lonnie JayBird Richardson, Gerald Hogan and Mark O Estes join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about how some gay stereotypes are based in reality.
 

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

M3 Bear Essnetials: The Hall Pass


Would you allow your man to take a short break from your relationship to do whatever he wants sexually someone else? Are such arrangements a disaster waiting to happen? In the latest episode of the M3 Bear Essentials, Male Media Mind contributors Xavier Spann, Lonnie JayBird Richardson, Jose Oquendo Mojica, Jeffery Roman and Chris Inpaq Sutton join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about negotiating time limited open relationship.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Chronicles of a Boyfriend Scavenger


Is it disrespectful to your friendship to purposely pursue a friend’s ex after their relationship has ended? Would you be mad if they used information for your private conversation to further their pursuit? In the latest episode of the M3 Bear Essentials Male Media Mind contributors Lonnie JayBird Richardson, Jose Oquendo Mojica, Mark O. Estes, Jeffery Roman and Xavier Spann join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about relationship scavengers.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Between Lovers and Friends



How would you react to a friend going out and talking more with your boyfriend than you do? Is there an argument to be made for partners in a long term relationship to have their separate friends who will always have their side in a domestic dispute? In the latest episode of the M3 Bear Essentials Lonnie JayBird Richardson, Jose Oquendo Mojica, Mark O. Estes, Gerald Hogan Jeffery Roman and Xavier Spann join host Malcolm Travers in discussing a video from Lonnie’s Life Lessons YouTube page as he discussed the an unwritten rule regarding friends getting too close to your partner.

Watch Lonnie's video: The Unwritten Rules of Friendship and Dating
 

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: I'm Positive, Now What?



How much does a diagnosis of HIV change your everyday life? What advice would you give to someone recently learning that he’s HIV positive? In the latest episode of the M3 Bear Essentials Male Media Mind contributors Jeffery RomanJose Oquendo MojicaLonnie JayBird Richardson, Mark O. Estes, Gerald Hogan and Xavier Spann join host Malcolm Travers in answering a viewer’s question about facing the fear versus the reality of being HIV positive.
 

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Enjoying The Single Life


Would you allow your man to use an adult social media app while he’s in a committed relationship with you? Do you feel there are drawbacks to being in a relationship that people choose to overlook? In the latest episode of the M3 Bear Essentials Male Media Mind contributors Jose Oquendo Mojica, Lonnie JayBird Richardson, Mark O. Estes, Gerald Hogan and Clinton Jolliffi join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion of what it means to be responsible to another person and why some enjoy the freedom of being single.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: What Is A Real Top?


Why do so many in the gay community conflate someone’s sexual position and other personality traits? Why do so many people get so offended when a preference for masculinity in a sexual partner is expressed? In the latest episode of the M3 Bear Essentials Male Media Mind contributors Jose Oquendo Mojica,  Lonnie JayBird Richardson,  Mark O. Estes Gerald Hogan and Clinton Jolliffi join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion of about the underlying assumptions some have top and bottom labels.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Does Umar Johnson Matter?


How much energy should we put into refuting the claims of crackpots like Dr. Umar Johnson when the facts are already on our side? Can the minds of people who believe that homosexiuality is caused by indoctrination be changed by rational arguments? In the latest episode of the M3 Bear Essentials Male Media Mind contributors Jose Oquendo Mojica, Lonnie JayBird Richardson, Mark O. Estes, Breeze Vincinz, Gerald Hogan and Clinton Jolliffi join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about fighting homophobia disguised as reasonable debate.

Friday, October 9, 2015

I Thought Love Didn't Cost a Thing?


“Some things in life are priceless, love isn't one of them.”

We all want love. We can pretend it doesn’t matter but we’d all be lying to ourselves. Waking up and falling in love with someone more and more everyday can be a beautiful thing. Something everyone deserves to experience in their lifetime. But is there a cost? Yes, people fall in love in mysterious ways but are our minds prematurely writing checks our hearts won’t be able to cash later? They say nothing in life is free so why would love be an exception? These things considered, how far should you go to find and experience love? How much of yourself should you be willing to sacrifice to discover your better half? Is there such a thing as giving up too much for companionship?  These are all questions that, in my opinion,  have no right or wrong answer. However when considering them, there are a few things you do need to keep in mind that will ultimately allow you to determine just how much is too much.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Causes of Homophobia

Does religion add to people’s moral condemnation of homosexuality, or does it simply provide misguided clarify for those who have difficulty understanding why someone would be gay? What is our role in trying to fight homophobia within and outside religious communities? In this episode, Male Media Mind contributors Mark O. Estes, Breeze Vincinz, Gerald Hogan and Xavier Spann join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about the complexities and origins of homophobia.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: On The Down Low


What’s the difference between privacy and keeping secrets? How comfortable are you with celebrities being outed? Does one’s anti-gay positions justify them being outed? In this episode Male Media Mind contributors Jose Oquendo Mojica, Lonnie JayBird Richardson, Mark O. Estes, Breeze Vincinz and Malcolm Travers discuss the pros pros and cons of coming out and difference between being private versus being DL.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Thursday, October 1, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Supporting Black Films



Should we watch bad movies in order to support black film makers? What are your biggest complaints about the way black films are talked about in popular media? In the this episode Corey Drummond, Malcolm Travers and Ali Lopez join host Mark O Estes in a discussion about the state of black media and how constructive criticism can be a form of support.
 

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Dating App Issues



Can you really get to know someone on a hookup app? Have the dating apps lowered our standard of communication? In this episode M3 contributors Mark O Estes, Gerald Hogan, Jeffery Roman, Lonnie Richardson, Xavier Spann and Breeze Vincinz join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about the way dating apps affect our social life.
 

Thursday, September 24, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Why Do They Hate Him?



Do right-wing Republicans hate Barack Obama because he’s black or because he’s a successful liberal president? Do you take kindly to people posting opposing opinions on your social media threads? In this episode M3 contributors Mark O Estes, Gerald Hogan, Jeffery Roman and Breeze Vincinz join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about racial politics.
 

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Black Lives Matter



What is the ultimate goal of the black lives matter movement? Do we try the the change the subject away from police brutality to black on black crime when people get uncomfortable with the issue? In this episode M3 contributors Mark O Estes, Gerald Hogan, Jeffery Roman, Lonnie Richardson and Breeze Vincinz join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about how to more effectively institute social change.
 

Thursday, September 17, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Where Have All The Real Tops Gone?


Is there really glut of bottoms in the gay community or is it just a matter of our mistaken perception of masculinity with sexual roles? In this episode M3 Contributors Jose Oquendo Mojica, Breeze Vincinz, Lonnie Richardson, Jeffery Roman and Gerald Hogan join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about our narrow definitions of masculine and feminine and its consequences.
 

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Opening up


Is monogamy a learned or innate behavior? What is the definition of an open relationship? In this episode M3 Contributors Jose Oquendo Mojica, Breeze Vincinz, Lonnie Richardson, Jeffery Roman and Gerald Hogan join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about the book Opening Up by Tristan Taormino. How does your sense of morality play into your decision to be either monogamous or open?

Watch: The Uncomfortable Truth 

Thursday, September 10, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Understanding Commitment



Do we ignore the “worse” part of the vow “for better or worse” Does sexual monogamy denote a higher level of commitment in a relationship? In this episode M3 Contributors Jeffery Roman, Gerald Hogan, Jose Oquendo Mojica and Mark O Estes join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion of how we define a relationship.
 

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Judging Bottoms Differently


Is it fair to judge the promiscuity of tops and bottoms differently? Is there a greater risk to a bottom’s health if he’s more promiscuous versus that of a top? In this episode M3 Contributors Jeffery Roman, Jose Oquendo Mojica, Breeze Vincinz, and Mark O Estes join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about how we see the sexual conquests of tops and bottoms differently.

Watch: The Price of Promiscuity

Thursday, September 3, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Light-Skinned Privilege


How aware of your skin tone and how affects your social interactions within and outside the black community? In this episode of M3 contributors Mark O Estess, Jose Oquendo Mojica, Gerald HoganLonnie Richardson and Breeze Vincinz join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about a casting call for Straight Outta Compton that associated light skinned with beautiful and dark skinned with ugly.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: The Gay Perspective



What are the positive aspects of the gay community and homosexuality that you feel proud of as a gay man? With all the haters and homophones out there, do you feel that it is our responsibility to advocate for the positive contributions that gay people have made for society? In this episode M3 Contributors Gerald Hogan, Jeffery Roman and Mark O Estes join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion the need to highlight the positive aspects of the gay community.

Find The Gay Perspective on Amazon 

Thursday, August 27, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Down Low Pastors


How much sympathy would you have for a DL pastor who gets outed? Is he as much a victim of an outdated ideology as his congregation? In this episode M3 Contributors Gerald Hogan, Jose Oquendo Mojica, Lonnie Richardson, Jeffery Roman, Mark O Estes, Xavier Spann and Breeze Vincinz join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about hypocrisy gay preachers who condemn homosexuality as a sin.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Undercover Madness


In this special episode Breeze VincinzJose Oquendo Mojica and Gerald Hogan join host Malcolm Travers to discuss the explosion of nude photos that have appeared in M3 Undercover in the lead up to Labor Day weekend and why we can't allow them to stay in the group. 

Thursday, August 20, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Best Friend vs Boyfriend


How much interest in a friend’s relationship is too much? If your best friend is being played by his boyfriend do you risk your friendship by telling him the truth? In this episode M3 contributors Jeffrey Roman, Xavier Spann, Mark O Estes and Breeze Vincinz join host Malcolm Travers for a discussion about the difficulties of balancing the interests of competing relationships. Would you be upset if your friend kept a secret about your boyfriend in order to preserve your friendship?

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: The Uncomfortable Truth


Could you feel satisfied in a relationship where anal sex is off the table? Do we hide from he reality that even people in happy relationships sometimes cheat? In this episode of the M3 Bear Essentials Contributors Breeze Vincinz, Jose Oquendo Mojica and  Mark O Estes join host Malcolm Travers discuss some uncomfortable truths about sex and relationships. Is sex without penetration still considered sex?

Watch 5 Fascinating Facts about Cheating
Read Frot is the New Black

Thursday, August 13, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Understanding Empathy


Do you find that people tend to distance themselves from you when you’re going through something difficult? Does the negativity that other people experience drain the energy of the people around them? In this episode, M3 contributors Clinton Jolliffi, Mark O Estes, Xavier Spann and Jeffrey Roman join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about empathy. How do you know when someone is being an emotional vampire or simply needs someone to help them through a difficult time?

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Building Resilience


How do you become better at overcoming life’s hardships? How do you deal with people who have low levels of resilience? In this episode M3 Contributors Jeffrey Roman, Clinton Jolliffi and Mark O Estes, join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about how we learn from our difficult experiences to become stronger people. What experiences or observations have made you resilient?

Thursday, August 6, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Race and Dating



If someone won't don't date within their own race do you ask why? What is the difference between a preference and a bias? In this episode M3 contributors Mark O Estes, Clinton Jolliffi, Jeffery Roman, Jose Oquendo Mojica and Breeze Vincinz join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about international dating and why we can get caught up in our feelings of rejection.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Advice for Coming Out


What is your advice to young people who are interested in coming out? Do we make too big a deal out of the coming out narrative? In this episode M3 contributors Jose Oquendo Mojica, Clinton Jolliffi, Breeze Vincinz and Mark O Estes join host Malcolm Travers to discuss the challenges of being physically and emotionally ready for the fallout that might come from coming out. Do we reinforce the stigma of homosexuality by retelling negative coming out narratives?

Thursday, July 30, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Triad Relationships


Would you ever consider being in a triad relationship? Can one ever be in such a relationship without the issues of jealousy causing problems? In this episode M3 Contributors Mark O Estes Jose Oquendo Mojica, Gerald Hogan, Jeffrey Roman and Breeze Vincinz join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about the challenges and joys of a triad relationship. What does polyamory have to teach us about more conventional pairings?

Also Read: How I Figured Out the Rules of My Three-Way Relationship

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Being Apart and Together


How do you deal with a romantic partner who spends more time with his family and friends than with you? Do you feel that spending time apart from a partner can bring you closer together? In this episode M3 contributors Xavier Spann and Mark Estes join host Malcolm Travers is a discussion about the importance of sharing common interests while alone and together. How would you resolve the issue of not spending enough or too much time together? 

Thursday, July 23, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Love Hate


In this episode we discuss the power of the L word in a relationship and how haters gonna hate. Mark O Estess, Jose Oquendo MojicaGerald Hogan, Ja’Won Blackmonand Breeze Vincinz join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about the level of vulnerability that we place ourselves in when express our feelings and opinions.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: The Price of Promiscuity

 

How many people do you have to sleep with to be a slut? Is it fair to judge the sexual activities of people if everyone involved is a single consenting adult? In this episode M3 Contributors Jose Oquendo Mojica, Gerald Hogan, Breeze Vincinz, and Mark O Estes join host Malcolm Travers in discussing the cost of being sexually adventurous is a small community. Do you think we judge tops and bottoms differently when it comes to their promiscuity?

Thursday, July 16, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Bill Cosby is a Rapist


Talking about sexual assault can be uncomfortable, especially when when the accused is cultural icon. What's worse is when we blame the victims for wanting attention and money for could only be a humiliating re-victimization. In this episode M3 Contributors Clinton Joliffi, Breeze Vincinz, Mark Estes, Jose Oquendo and Jeffery Roman join host Malcolm Travers to discuss the recent release of documents that bolster the rape allegations against Bill Cosby. Why do you think people would still be skeptical of the claims after having admitted to sexual misconduct in the past?

See also M3 Bear Essentials: Is Bill Cosby a Rapist?

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Lingering Feelings


After the end of a relationship is it normal for the feeling to linger? How long should you wait before you date someone else? Could you be someone’s rebound guy? In this episode M3 contributors Breeze Vincinz, Trebor Senoj, and Mark O Estes join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about the grace period after a relationship has ended.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Finding Forgiveness


What does it mean to forgive someone who has wronged you? Do you need to forgive someone in order to move on? Why do we push for forgiveness before the person is ready? In this episode M3 contributors Jose Oquendo Mojica, Breeze Vincinz, and Mark O Estes join host Malcolm Travers is a discussion about what forgiveness means and its often unexamined limitations.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: The Halo Effect


What advantages do we give to highly attractive people? How do those advantages adversely affect their personality? Is it fair to blame them for the consequences of our bias? In this episode M3 contributors Breeze Vincinz, Mark O Estes, Ja’Won Blackmon,and Xavier Spann join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about the halo Effect how our natural bias toward attractiveness sometimes has unexpected consequences. 

Watch The Halo Effect: Definition, Advantages & Disadvantages

Thursday, July 2, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Life’s Big Decisions and the Smell of Regret


What are some of the big decision that shaped your life? Do you have any regrets about the the choices you made knowing what you know now? In this episode M3 contributors Jose Oquendo Mojica, Mark O. Estes, Xavier Spann and Breeze Vincinz join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about the big choices we made in our lives and why the curse of knowledge can lead to unnecessary regrets. Then we have a fun discussion about difference between real and knock off fragrances.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

A Letter to a Gay Community of Color


They say perspective is everything and that experience breeds wisdom. For me those two things along with a few other factors have inspired me to compose this short article that will hopefully inspire and also spark some intellectual debate. I’m disappointed, ashamed, and somewhat disgusted at some of the things and people I have come into contact with that dwell inside of the gay black community. All of these things have baffled me leaving me with questions and concerns about a community that I obviously consider myself to be a part of.

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Fat Shaming in the Gay Community


Do gay men of size face additional challenges seeking the attention of other gay men? Do we too easily segregate ourselves into smaller subgroups based on the bad behavior of a few? M3 Contributors  Jose Oquendo Mojica and Mark O. Estes join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about the inequalities of larger men in the gay community.

Also Read: It Gets Better, Unless You’re Fat

Thursday, June 25, 2015

M3 Bear Essentials: Fear of Commitment

What does it mean to be afraid of commitment? Is it simply wanting a relationship without having any of the drawbacks? Do prenuptial agreements mean you don't think the relationship will last? M3 Contributors Ali Lopez, Breeze Vincinz and Mark Estes join host Malcolm Travers in a discussion about the costs of maintaining a relationship. Many people romanticize what relationships are, so when the work of maintaining one get hard it can feel like it’s not worth the effort. What aspects of relationship maintenance do you feel are most overlooked?