This fear of “love misinterpretation” was definitely on the radar in the beginning throws of my current relationship. Someone offering the sounds of crickets when you offer them your heart is not necessarily a deal breaker (it could just be timing, maybe wait just a little longer) but it is unavoidably embarrassing. And I did not want to pull the trigger too early myself with visages of stifling commitment, confinement and restraint swimming freely between my increasingly chilly feet. But with enough time, communication and openness, my feet did begin to warm up, as did other parts of my anatomy. Needless to say, when it was time to talk about love, commitment and all the extra accoutrements that go along with it, we had the same intentions. We speak the same language; which comes in handy during moments of eventual disagreements.
In a prior episode of MaleMediaMind’s “Bear Essentials”, the contributors discussed The Five Love Languages as described by Gary D. Chapman which consists of
- Words of Affirmation, showing love through verbal affections
- Quality Time, devoting time to give undivided attention to loved ones
- Receiving Gifts, giving a symbol of emotion to loved ones
- Acts of Service, providing a useful service that can benefit the ones you love
- Physical Touch, showing love through the act of physical touch
The purpose of identifying these languages is in an effort for couples to better express themselves in their relationships; with the keyword in each tenet being “love” because the word alone, though heavy with intention and feeling, in and of itself cannot sustain a long term relationship. Much like those deliciously moist words uttered by ESL individuals during a fairly thirsty time in my life, without subsequent actions and a shared understanding of the intention, they slide out of the system leaving you hungry for something more substantial. Love is what love does; it’s just a matter of making sure that what you’re doing isn't in vain.
And in cities as culturally diverse as Los Angeles, I think it is vital to be multilingual, if you will; being well versed in common day linguistics as well as the mutable lexicons of love. As our country’s cultural diversity grows with each passing generation, we have to adapt to the tonal changes made in the way we communicate to each other. Being effectively conversant with the ways people give and receive love can only help to close some of the gaps that exist between cultures as well as the microcosm of society that exists within our own homes and relationships. Because no matter what changes befalls us in the future, love will always be love. We just have to be well versed enough to be able to read the writing on the wall.
Male Media Mind