Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Fuck You

April is National Poetry Month, a national celebration of poetry established by the Academy of American Poets. The concept is to widen the attention of individuals and the media—to the art of poetry, to living poets, to the complex poetic heritage, and to poetry books and journals of wide aesthetic range and concern. On this last day of April, I would like to share one of my more (in)famous compositions I wrote awhile back while on the brink of breaking up with one of my more (in)famous paramours. I remember a colleague telling me that it was the first time he ever saw me open up and be vulnerable and real while performing on stage one evening. It has definitely thwarted my efforts getting back into spoken word, you have to expose so much of your raw nerve endings… and that shit is rough! But alas, for those who have read this before, I welcome you to take a journey back to when I was trying to reconstitute myself from a debilitating relationship. And for you new people who have never read this before… enjoy…

Fuck You
(c) Breeze Vincinz

The most beautiful conversation we ever had
Was the last conversation we ever had
For three years I’ve asked you if you were sad
You told me things were fine and dandy and

I believed you, what choice did I have
I thought you were the ocean and I was the sand
You were the song, I was the headphones
God was the marrow, we were the bones

We were together in trying to make a home
With the last conversation, I know that I would be alone
After all this time, you tell me something is wrong
A thousand times I’ve asked you to talk to me and NOW you decide to show

I don’t fuck you the way you want me to
You don’t talk to me the way I want you to
You think I can’t get hard like the porn stars do
You want me to be honest about how much I want to make love to you

I’ve been hard enough to fuck other people honestly
Just like you’ve been soft enough to share yourself, just not with me
You beg me to get inside of you endlessly
I beg to let your insides out for the past years three

Keep in mind, this is the most you have ever said to me
You think I’m impotent, I think you’re cowardly
I think I am the lonely boy and you are the unscratched itch
And God pimped our emotions, we are his bitch

When you love someone enough, you should work it out in a cinch
But you stopped calling, I’ve stopped giving a shit
And I never thought it would turn out like this
Me wanting more time, you wanting more dick

Me wanting more heart, you wanting more brain
If we were to give that to each other, would we really gain?
Would my dick and your heart really stop the rain?
Or would another three years go by before you open up again?

And this is not an argument that I’m trying to win
Just trying to figure out your life and why I don’t fit in
It’s amazing how you treat me with the utmost disregard
You put everything in front of me, your family, your rectum, your car

The other boys that want to fuck you at the bar
It all confuses you, you shut down and you don’t call, like that ever got you far
I don’t want to hate you but maybe your heart IS made of tar
Maybe we do fare batter as friends than as lovers in a war

But a friend would call or answer his phone every once in awhile
A friend wouldn’t avoid a friend because he’s looking for something more erectile
Especially when NEITHER friend has been really fucked good in awhile
And yeah I’ve been crying while naked on my bathroom tile

For the past three years you’ve been my occupation and now I got to retire

Though I still love you, I got to say fuck you for giving up on me
Fuck you for abandoning the life we could have shared as we
Fuck you for thinking of only yourself and not my biology
Fuck you for trying to be cool and never sharing yourself with me
Fuck you for giving up first and thinking a martyr you would be
Fuck you for not calling anymore, fuck you for not answering
Fuck you for all the fights you avoid like you always do
Fuck you for thinking the root of our problems is that I’m not fucking you
Fuck you for the DVD’s you never returned that I loaned to you
Fuck me for putting up with you racist heart, your hatred of Mexicans and Jews
Fuck you because I know you’re not man enough to understand what I am going through

Fuck you for I have been fucking since our last conversation, I’m just not fucking you

Male Media Mind