Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Updates to The Male Media Mind

There have been some updates to M3 in the past few weeks, and I discuss them in the video below. You'll notice new backgrounds on our Tumblr, YouTube, and Twitter pages. These changes came about thanks to Breeze and his excellent graphic design skills. We've had many discussions about what we want M3 to be, and there's no doubt that design plays a major role in making our philosophy a reality. The Tumblr has really taken off and it's gotten a new look. We've cleaned up the blog and put most of the adult material on the Tumblr, while still writing here about sex occasionally. We've moved the sexual images to the Tumblr and added a touch of writing. The black and white backgrounds create a Ying/Yang motif that mirrors the content. Make sure to follow us on Tumblr, Twitter, and YouTube.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Soul City by Touré: A Novel Recomendation

There's nothing like a good book recommendation. I'm always reading, but with so much to choose from it can be hard to know what's worth my time. I have a few savvy friends who've led me to some great reads. Breeze told me about this one and now I'm paying it forward. I've given copies to all my friends and they've all been pleasantly surprised. It's not what they've come to expect from me. I'm more of a nonfiction reader, science, history, and politics mostly. If I do read fiction, it's mostly mysteries and thrillers. This is something totally out of my regular reading space and I'm glad it was recommended to me because it opened up wide the possibilities of what literature can do. It's playful and serious in its implications, and it's so strange and short that it holds your attention right through to the end. Listen to the audiobook and grab a copy for a friend.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Musings of a Philosophical Bear: This I Believe... For Now

I stepped into some controversy a few weeks back when I wrote about the black church and its obsession with homosexuality. I offended a few people, as one is likely to do when you say anything negative about The Bible or religion. What I didn't expect was the end of dialogue. When I said, "I don't believe in your God," I had one person completely unwilling to listen to anything else I had to say. I believed in many things they might have agreed with, but instead he said he'd pray for me and I thought I'd find some comfort in knowing that he was trying to save my soul from an afterlife of endless suffering and damnation.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

A Certain Darkness (Breeze and the Lonesome Moon)

Originally posted  in the Mellifluous Breeze

So I went out with this dude. We agreed to go to a potluck thrown by some friends of mine Saturday before last. He came over to my place first and we walked up to the Bourgeois Pig Coffee Shop which was thankfully pretty empty at the time. We just sat and talked and got to know each other and I pulled out my “Table of Honesty.” It’s this thing I have going on where I make an atmosphere where the truth and only the truth is laid out, no matter how uncomfortable or heinous or self-deprecating. I really felt this need to tell him where I stood as far as relationships go and why I don’t truly trust him…mainly because there are eerie similarities between him and my ex…up to and including that not only do they know each other, but they even have same first name.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Along Came a Ginger Bear


Yes bitches... I was a slut. Well if it is any consolation I didn't pick this one up at the club. I was out one morning buying a meat pie and noticed this cute bear looking at me, but not looking. Curiously, we'd end up in the same isle as I was trying to find the drinks and such. Apparently, he was in Worcester for the weekend, saw me the night before at Blu, thought I was hot and that it was rather bizarre seeing me in public. He lived in CT, his name is Johnathan and he was 42, cute as hell and a bear. Not too big, not too small, taller than me and a seemingly genuine 'nice guy'. He had to be about 6'3" and 250lbs which is not huge at that height. He had red hair, blue eyes and was covered in thick, red fur. I had never been with a ginger-bear before.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

"Transformers 4" Starts Filming This Summer

For all you regular M3 readers, you already know I am a nerd. For those who are new, this post is going to let the cat out the bag. I screamed like a school girl when I found out that there is going to be a new Transformers movie. My hands were shaking with happiness. When the first live action Transformer movie was announced in 2007, I was skeptical. Being a gigantic fan of the cartoon for years and seeing so many remakes, making a live action Transformers movies seemed unlikely. Trying to convert all the action and movement of the cartoon to live action would take a well-dedicated team of designers, writers, actors and most importantly, a director. But luckily, they found a team that brought Transformers to a whole new level of awesomeness and nerdiness.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

DL Men Give Great Head

There are some of us that have the ability to get straight men to jump the fence to play around for a little while and go back to being straight. I am guilty of this. I have pulled a few straight dudes. I'm going to talk about one.

The first one was a friend from grade school. We had been best friends since fourth grade. When we started going though puberty around the sixth grade, he would call me everyday after school and he'd talk to me as he masturbated. Guess you can say it was my first phone bone. It was never physical between us, but later on as we became grown men, we eventually went further.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Being the Change You Want to See in Yourself

"It doesn't matter whom you're paired against; your opponent is always yourself" -Nakamura

A pattern emerged from the posts this week. Vaughne wrote about food addiction. Breeze wrote Fat Soldier (of Love) and of his struggles with weight, and Lynx talked about his transformation in his latest video. Three is a special number in many ways. It's the point that the suspicion of a pattern becomes the outline of an idea. It's pretty obvious that a blog for bears will eventually touch on the issue of weight loss, but for it to emerge so naturally without any prompting is beyond encouraging. I've found myself inspired to talk about my journey as well and talk about what I've learned along the way.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Fat Soldier (Of Love)

At my highest weight I toppled close to 400 pounds. It should be noted that I am around 5’ 6”…  5’ 7” in heels. Now I have been pretty chunky my entire life but somewhere around my thirties gravity sped up for me and during a particularly arduous relationship, the “blossoming” continued to Nutty Professor-esque proportions. After the eventual breakup, I dove nose first into poetry and health having facilitated a fairly successful open mic poetry spot in Los Angeles as well as enrolled in Weight Watchers in which I dropped down to an astounding 238 pounds. I took my new frame and celebrated at Atlanta Black Pride where I not only rekindled my love of consistent anonymous sex with a penis that I can see without holding in my stomach…  but also with the dens of depravity I call fast food restaurants. Having steadfastly monitored what I was eating and exercised almost daily for close to two years… it took one single Big Mac to start the “blossoming” all over again.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Strange Fruit Indeed

I can remember hearing those haunting tones of Billie Holiday ringing in my ears as a child. Her beautiful voice proclaims the southern trees bare strange fruit. Through the dusty speakers on my dresser plastered with bumper stickers, she sang that song over and over. It wasn't until many years later I learned that the fruit she was singing about was nothing close to what I thought she was singing. The audio has gotten better, the song is  remastered and in digital formats far removed from that 11 year old boy could have imagined was possible, but those words now have a much darker meaning. Those black bodies swinging are not so abstract and meaningless anymore.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

The Monogamy Myth: Lessons In Male Sexuality

The more I talk to my friends about relationships the more I've come to realize that monogamy is a myth. Certainly, there are those of us who are sexually exclusive, but those men are rare and not all that desirable. Those of us with normal sex drives, men who are attractive, alpha males who are agressive and desirable, need variety and are rarely monogamous. Some monogamous men exist only because they make themselves miserable to fit an ideal. Others are guilt ridden because of all the lying they have to do to their partner or else lose them because they're not willing or able to discuss an open relationship.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Media Hype: How does being first beat being right?

A news service organization, out side of Fox News that is, rarely has the ability to totally piss me off. Well now, I can add CNN to the list. While waiting on a doctor's appointment, I had the very real displeasure of listening to news reports about the tragedy that happened in Boston on Monday during the Boston Marathon. Apparently there were reports that authorities have found a suspect and arrested them for the crime. CNN then went into "ultra exclusive zealot" mode and jumped on report like fiends to a crack pipe.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

The Ballad of the American Black Bear

Originally posted in the Monthly Breeze

A friend of mine used to run an entertainment business on the East Coast that catered to the needs of overweight homosexual men of color. In it’s hey day the business thrived and everyone involved enjoyed the fruits of their labor, including the notion that, even in the most minuscule of levels, they were providing a service to a demographic that was grossly under served.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Don't Stoop to Their Level

When I first overheard someone use the phrase no homo I giggled like a ten year old boy hearing a Richard Pryor joke for the first time. I began to think, as I tend to do, of the larger implications, not just what the statement literally means, "please excuse me for any action or statement my intended audience my perceive as gay", but also that there's actually something seriously wrong with liking guys. So you want to preemptively squish any idea or indication that you might be part of a lower class of human being? Dude that's gay.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Roger Ebert: The Philosophical Film Critic

The Westboro Baptist Church picketed the funeral of legendary film critic Roger Ebert 

When I heard about Roger Ebert's passing I was deeply saddened. As a Chicago native and movie fanatic, he's been a positive part of my life since I began to read. He always impressed me with his insight even when he was tough on a movie I liked, he gave his reasons in such detail that I could understand why he felt the way he did. I knew he was a great film critic, but when I learned the "God Hate Fags" guys protested his funeral I thought he had to have done something right to earn their hate. When I looked deeper I came to appreciate him as much more than a film critic, but as an amazing writer and human being.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Finding Balance and Self Reliance

Funny how everyone around me gets what they want. I seem to never get what I want, even when it is so simple, easy to find, and barely cost anything to get or give. I understand that I'm not alone and there are lots of people like me out there who grant wishes and bend over backwards for the people in our lives. People who have generous people in their lives often take that generosity for granted. This is usually because the people in their lives that are generous don't ask for more from the people in their lives. Never just accept what the people around you or in your life will give you. Lovers, friends, and family members will treat you the way you expect to be treated. If you demand more you get more.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Meditations of an Intellectual Christian Bear

I've written and talked about my personal faith journey on M3, in a post titled "Jesus Walks", so it surprised me when I read a comment on the fan page where someone said being a gay Christian is an oxymoron. It was a response to the posting of a book excerpt, in which the author travels to The Westboro Baptist Church to try to learn what he can about Christians who hate gay people. The book was subtitled, "A Gay Christian's Pilgrimage in Search of God in America." This person went on to say that he no longer believed in any theory of God. So I began to think about what beliefs he did have. It wasn't that he didn't believe in anything, but rather that he chose not to call that "something" God. I was thankful for that. People without faith in anything are scary.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

First Night as a Free Man: A Tale of Sex and Debouchery


The title may be a bit misleading. You bitches are thinking, "Hey, I thought you wasn't single?", well chulos... I was newly single, back in November of 2007. I have since met my partner and we've been together now for more than four years. Back then I had someone in mind to replace my ex-husband, a goal to focus on. That goal was someone with whom I hoped sex would have meaning. So I held off on going home with anyone since I arrived in Worcester, MA in January 2008. I had been holding off on doing anything for an entire month in hopes of getting him. Yes, I wanted sex with meaning, but at that point I just wanted to get laid. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed human contact. Hence this is the story of my first night completely free of any ties.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Hygiene Tips from a Nerdy Black Bear


I know what your thinking, why am I talking about hygiene? Well apparently some men out there are still in the dark on how to groom themselves, or in ghetto terms how to wash they ass. This idea came to me at work. I was minding my own business when suddenly I spotted a handsome gentleman walking toward me. He was well dressed, neatly shaved, and had an ass you can bounce a quarter off of. He finally reached me to ask a question and that's when things went horribly wrong. His breath almost brought me to my knees. I wanted to run for the hills, but I couldn't because he was a customer and I had to help him. So I stood there trapped with a fake smile on my face nodding and acting like I was listening, but in my mind I was dieing inside. So I quickly answered him while giving him that fake smile, as he walked away I gasped for air. You wouldn't think such a beautiful man would smell like road kill on a hot Texas afternoon, but it happens all the time. So nerdy black bear is here to explain hygiene.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

From “Does Jesus Really Love Me?” by Jeff Chu

The term Christian means radically different things to different people. There are social justice Christians, moral crusader Christians, Christians who believe in “Jesus-as-good-man-but-no-more,” and those who hold to a “Jesus-is-the-only-way” Christianity. But gradually over the last few decades, the word Christian has become associated with condemnation. Nearly all former Christians I interviewed cited judgmental behavior as one of the push factors that sent them running from the church. And no institution has been more associated with being extremist and anti-gay than Westboro Baptist Church.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

The Family That Kills Together Does Time Together

There are very few instances where something can totally render me speechless. This is one of those rare occasions. All I can do look at the picture and say WOW! Well, that's the first words after the silence. Then the classic "you got to be freaking kidding me," (freaking not being the word of choice, but I will treat this like prime time television for the kiddies) is blurted out.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Feminine Gay Men, the Black Church, and Athletes Coming Out

It's really great to see Magic support his gay son on TMZ. It's safe to say that coming up in the world of sports, Magic probably wasn't exposed to the most progressive ideas about homosexuality. Not to mention his positive HIV status might have sparked questions about his heterosexual orientation.  Those sorts of experiences don't typically leed to deeper understanding and open-mindedness. Watching this interview I saw a genuine smile on his face when he talked about him. He wasn't just supportive of his son, he was truly proud of him.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Food Addiction aka Big Boi Syndrome


I'm a big dude. Like most big dudes I love to eat. Next to sex, beer, and tequila, food is my pleasure of choice. It's freaking amazing. With all the foreplay that the aroma plays as it teases your nostrils, and tingling of the flavors on your taste buds, and as the food fills your belly the nearly orgasmic pleasures that come when those endorphins are released in that tool between your ears. Sir, would you like a cigarette with that cheesecake?

Speaking of that tool between your ears, better known as the brain, now a days one has to put it to use to scrutinize what we eat. I know the last thing anyone wants to do when getting ready to tear into a plate of fried chicken and mac n cheese is to consider the health consequences.  The truth of the matter is, it can be a matter of life and death.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Life in the Hood and the Divided Bear Scene

"Never trust a white man, and don't think black folks are any better" - Leonard Combs aka Old Time

We don't trust each other. They say we don't want to be around them. We say they don't want to be around us. We seem to live in different worlds. Why is this stil a reality in the 21st century? Gang Leader for a Day is one of those books that really gets to the bottom of the divide. It starts in the hood. Within most cities there's a another city with it's own customs and economy. It goes by many names. These cities are mostly populated by people of color and it lies at the heart of why there exists such distrust among the races even after a generations have accepted and celebrated the civil rights movement. At the heart of this divide lies a real segregation of culture as real as any law could enforce.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Thoughts of a Nerdy Black Bear

I noticed that I haven't been putting myself or my thoughts on the blog at all, but things are going to change. Our readers want to see more of my personality and once the personality lid  is ripped off it gonna be hard to super glue it back on. There are many sides to James. One side of me is a caring individual that loves to help and has a strong sense of justice. Then there is the artist inside of me, and for you perverts out there I didn't mean it that way. Anyway I love art of all kinds from paintings to metal sculptures. I'm also a smart ass/comedian. I love to laugh and making people smile, but sometimes my mouth can get me into trouble.  I do have a shy side, but once i get to know my surrounding and the people in it my personality comes out to play.

Friday, April 5, 2013

What I Learned in Athens

I actually don't know how to sum up my fucking existence. I'm six months away from 34 and I feel like a day from 50. Here's what you should know about me. I'm down to earth, giving, friendly and an all around decent guy. However, I'm not perfect. I'm brooding, over analytical, depressive, distracted, a little lazy, quiet, and sarcastic at times. I use to dream of working as a lawyer, successful businessman, or a lethal cold-blooded assassin. Or maybe I just wanted to be a happy financially-secured lottery winner. I even saw my dream home. Oh man, my dream home was the shit. I went ancient on you muthafuckas. It looked like a Roman villa, pillars, pools, marble, oh yeah it's modern inside, a private theater and gym, it just looks ancient. I'd skinny dip at night in the summer and have a all nude house party only the hottest guests would attend.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Brutal Lynx Presents: Your Morning Commute Ep 9 - 4/3/2013

WTF?!?! Where have you been Lynx?!?! Man... I been getting acclimated to this new work schedule, school is starting and I still gotta lift. ;-)
Today we tackle the question,posed by Reggie Davenport, "Where are the masculine men?". It is a very complicated matter and I can only hope I scraped the tip of the iceberg. What do you think about masculine men and where the hell are they hiding?

Thank you for the excellent question Reggie! don't forget to ask your questions either here, on the M3 facebook page or on my tumblr at http://lynxbear.tumblr.com.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Beyond Belief and Why We Need Diversity of Thought

What does it mean to be in a cult? It's hard to imagine being cut off from the world and being brainwashed. This book gives us an inside view of what it must feel like. Imagine having no standard by which you can judge what is normal. Try to imagine being brainwashed into thinking something that is totally crazy and illogical, but not being able to critically think because critical thinking is forbidden. It's hard right? It's something we take for granted. We've always had someone else's perspective in our lives. Even when we wanted friends and family to think like us they didn't always agree with us. We might have even found those disagreements frustrating. After reading this book I've come to cherish those who think differently than me much more than I used to.  Being a practicing heathen, I'm not going to church, but I still communicate with my church family. This Easter we had dinner. I know when I finish the meal I'm going to get some conservative rants on taxes and gun control, but  we keep it civil. I'd given them this book earlier this year and we talked about it. I think all of us appreciate having people with different views in our life. So while this book is entertaining, it helped me appreciate how lucky I am to think freely and for myself and to appreciate differing opinions.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Perfection: What's Wrong With Just Being Human?


We exist, therefore we're flawed.

Why do we expect people to be perfect? After we have that irrational expectation our logical mind corrects us, but from the start we're disappointed when we learn that someone or something we love is flawed. Why is that? I was just reading a New York Times article about the expansion of the universe. The Big Bang is the theory that the universe started off very small and expanded very rapidly in it's infancy and is still expanding to this day. The article caught my eye because new data from telescopes in Europe confirm that The Universe isn't uniform. In fact it's quite "lumpy" and expands in some areas more than others. What scientists thought might have been a miscalculation or instrument error, is now being confirmed as the way of existence. Imperfection is at the core of the very reason we're here. The theory goes that if The Universe were perfect than the four fundamental forces would have been in balance. Rapid expansion occurred because of the imperfections and inconsistencies of matter and energy.

Ask Lynx Anything!!

So given I have finally gotten my Tumblr all set I am putting you, the reader, into the driving seat!

A once a week (as questions allow) video blog in which Lynx will answer literally ANY question have! Any subject! Sex? Yes please! Life? Why not!! Anything at all! The questions will be answered honestly and frankly. Answers will be given in a video right here on The Male Media Mind, complete with shout outs!

So click the link below, head on over to Lynx's Tumblr and Ask Lynx Anything!!