Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Why Singles Hate On Relationships


We are built for connection. As much as we complain about relationships, I see that basic need expressed in every Facebook status update, every tweet, every discussion board flame war, and belly button. The truth is evident, but sometimes we want to be connected so badly that we end up worse than when we stared. In our desperate need for connection we'll sometimes put up with worst people. And sometimes in trying to be a good person we end up being the worst person.


If we seek to be arbitrarily coupled with an unknown person, we're more likely reject the whole idea of being coupled. This could be because the last relationship we were in was with an asshole. I wrote once that assholes ruin everything especially when it come to love. In trying to connect to another person, we're bound to meet people we're not compatible with, but what may be completely unexpected is the asshole. Relationships are great when they work, but there's nothing so bad about being single that a relationship with an asshole will fix.


When I read the comments in the different threads for this video, I saw a lot people who'd pretty much given up on relationships. It's something I've been though more than once in my life. Sometimes we just want to be single. It's usually because some asshole fucked with our heart and left us in the cold. It's something I've come to understand is only temporary. We have to go through this a few times to really figure out what it is we need and want in a partner. It's the problem of the imagined versus the specific. We can't really know if we want to be in a relationship with an unknown, but with a specific person things could be completely different. Our imagination is limited to the experiences and concepts that we've already encountered. Truth is, there's so much more out there that we haven't begun to imagine.


You may have not known you needed a man with a wicked sense of humor until he's got you laughing on a daily basis. Maybe witty banter wasn't high up on your list of needs until you became frustrated with a perpetual lack of meaningful conversation. You may have met a sweet guy, a guy who's cute, and kind, You might not even know about a specific interest until you've tried something new. We learn by doing and by making mistakes, but we have to be willing to get back on the path when we inevitably stumble. We're not supposed to get it right. It's "failures" that teach us about ourselves and the nature of people. Often times we learn those lessons incorrectly because our emotions drive us to illogical conclusions. No, not all relationships are bad, you just happened to have been in a bad one.

Our imagination is limited by our experiences. I never knew what would be perfect for me until it was happening. We have to make those mistakes to grow. I know that when I came to meet the man that would be right for me, I was ready because of the mistakes I'd made. I can't imagine that I would have been ready for such a mature man if I had I not felt the pain and heartache that came from learning the truth about the nature of relationships. It wasn't until I'd given up on relationships that I could actually find one. So to those single people who like being single, I'm glad you're happy, but like it or not there may be even more happiness in store for you.






MALCOLM TRAVERS
Male Media Mind