Cecil Harris Davison II (No, I'm not named after an uncle. My dad wasn't the king of anything. Technically, it should be Jr. but nope). I grew up with "CC" as a nickname but the only person who calls me that nowadays is Vaughne...and he spells it wrong...lol
2. If given the choice of any person alive or dead with whom would you want over to dinner as a guest? Why?
This is too difficult to answer because so much of it depends on when in time I'm having this dinner but I'll give it a shot. As an adolescent, Hulk Hogan because I'd want to drool over his pecs and arms (I had a crush on each as a kid...that's two separate crushes on the same dude - 'cause one isn't enough) and sex with muscular wrestler-type or bear-type dudes was pretty much all I had on my horny little mind. In college, dinner with any attractive, popular female to throw people off of the gay scent (ugh for me and that bullshit). Post-college, Bill Cosby. The man is just full of so much wisdom and since my educational and career aspirations have always leaned towards children and their sound development, I knew he and I would have plenty to talk about. These days, I'd like to have dinner with a genie because I need a quick answer to life's challenges (now, there's a wide open hole if I've ever written one).
3. Before making an important telephone call do you rehearse what it is you're going to say? What do you think about people who do?
No I don't and people who do so are crazy and should be committed. I'm kidding. I really have no thoughts on people who do other than i would guess it's because they feel they need to. Whatever works.
4. Explain in as much detail as possible what would constitute a perfect day for you.
Good God, Malcom! This would take forever because I'm a perfectionist so I could go into way more detail than anyone would care about or want to read. I'll keep it as brief as I can. I'd wake up glowing from the mind blowing marital copulation I had with Gregg the night before (I know that feeling well). More sex in the morning. Shower. Get back in the bed. My son (probably age 3 or 4) comes in the room and jumps in the bed with us. We play with him for a while. Get up and have him help me cook breakfast in bed for Gregg (probably my shrimp and grits because no one can really fuck with those like I can). This would probably happen post-doctorate (counseling psychology) so I'd go to work (at either my own therapy practice or the agency) and help families save their own lives through therapeutic intervention. Go get Brooks from school (that's his name, Brooks Parker Davison) Come home. Cook dinner in my kitchen...my professionally equipped kitchen (think MasterChef or very high end), wait for Gregg to come home form his teaching job and we eat as a family. That's bare bones but there you go.
5. When was the last time you sang to yourself to someone else? Would you ever sing in public in honor of someone you love?
I sing to myself all the time. I rarely, if ever, sing to Gregg because he's the one who can really sing. I actually plan on singing to Gregg at our wedding (but shhhh, don't tell him)
Who wants to have MY body at 30? lol. My mind at 30 please...wait, neither because that's 70 years of wisdom that I won't have. Answer: neither.
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? Would you want to know exactly how when and where you will die?
Hunch? No. Would I want to know? Um, maybe. On one hand, being prepared for that would be pretty awesome in a few ways. I'm what I call a "questioning Christian (I'll explain that some other time)" so it would be cool to know when I'd die so that I could make sure that as many moments as possible were dedicated to christian VALUES (not necessarily worshiping Christ although there would be some of that as well) but I could do that without knowing. It would just be interesting to know exactly how much time I'd have to do it. I mentioned before that I'm a perfectionist. That means that I'll probably do a lot of planning (and getting frustrated when plans don't go as planned. So that thin layer of schmear of frustration that I spread over the bagel of my life would probably get a lot thicker.
8. If you could change anything about the way you were raised what would it be?
Jesus, Malcom! Ok, so my parents both love me. Frankly, they just were the type of people who maybe shouldn't have had kids. My dad (bless his heart) is very old school in that he believes that "fathering" and "parenting" are synonymous. Self-esteem is ingrained, not inherent. Examples are set, so you've got to set the right ones and pay attention to something other than the bills. Sound emotional development is actually a thing. It should be paid attention to in as much as you pay attention to how food gets on the table and the roof remains over our heads. That being said, my dad's "I love you" comes in monetary form. Especially nowadays. So I know how to accept what he has to give in the way he can give it. My mother, completely different story. I'd be able to trust her for basic mother-ish things (safety, trust, unconditional positive regard, stuff like that). My mother loves me. my mother also has a lot of issues of her own that she, being who she is, will never deal with (and I can say that as an actual counselor and not just as a son). These issues of hers keep her defenses and her paranoia up. So if I've gotta change something about the way I was raised on her end, it would be a reversal of my lack of trust that I've had in her for as long as I could remember.
Remember that show "Out of This World," where the girl was half alien and she could put her two index fingers together and stop time? That. Sometimes, i just need a breather from people...or more time to do shit...or a breather from people.
10. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
What I've dreamed of doing for a long time was becoming a registered play therapist. I just got the master's degree I needed and I'm looking for jobs now (worst feeling ever). So I'm doing it. I also want kids with my DNA. Haven't done it yet because of the cost.
11. What is your most treasured memory? How would your personality or life change if you discovered that the memory was false?
I'm not sure about that. I'm a pessimist most of the time so right now, I can't recall a treasured memory (much less the MOST). If I had to pull the first treasured memory that comes to mind, it would be the moment I saw my partner, Gregg in person after talking to him on line for so long. I still remember that warm feeling. If that was found to be false, I'd probably be how I was pre-relationship. Standoffish and totally mistrusting of the gays.
12. If you knew that in one year's time you'd die suddenly is there anything in your life you'd change right now?
I'd come off this healthy eating plan and eat whatever the fuck I want.
13. What was the most embarrassing moment in your life? Do you still feel any embarrassment when you think about it?
Of m LIFE? I'm not telling you. I'll tell you an embarrassing moment, however. Picture it. A Birmingham, Alabama high school. 1993. It was my junior year and the night of the prom I didn't go to because ew, girls. I went to this chicken spot downtown and saw this senior dude and his date in full prom regalia. Of course, I couldn't stand his ass (or any other senior in that class...I was bullied alot. Well, I guess these days, that's the buzzword for normal social developmental rites of passage) and he didn't like me either so I had to go back to school and tell everyone he took his damn prom date to Green Acres chicken instead of a real restaurant. So of course, the next day after I was so proud of myself, he came into my Spanish class and punked me in front of everyone (finger in the forehead and everything). Back then, I was waaaaay too passive to do anything about it so I let it happen. So did the teacher (who didn't care much for me either. He wasn't "happy gay." He was "angry gay.") I don't feel any embarrassment now because I think the dude is dead or something so I feel like I won. You asked.
For the past few years, I have been a recluse. I don't associate with too many people other than cohort members in school or my partner. Last time I cried was earlier this week. Both by myself and in front of my partner. It was that manly one-tear cry though. I saw something on TV that really touched my heart in a profound way (I'm not going to say what it was though).
15. What, if anything, is too serious to joke about? Why? Do people ever think of you as insensitive?
Insensitive, no. PEOPLE don't find me insensitive in the least. I happen to know that I can be very insensitive at times but I don' often let it show. I'm a counselor and I'm very proud of the fact that I can empathize with the best of them in session or in group. Even in my relationship.
16. What is the biggest misconception people have about you? Is there anything you can do to change it?
People think I'm a hell of a lot nicer than I actually am. But I think the biggest one is due to the fact that i process my thoughts VERY fast. My mind tends to work a lot and I may think about a lot of things that may seem random to the average listener but all have a common thread (think Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon going on in my mind all the time). The problem is that you may only hear degree #2 and a third of degree #5, neither of which elicit the same emotion from me. So I may be really happy when you hear the first thought and pissed off when you hear the second one. It comes out to the layperson as mood swings. It's really not. I've had a days worth of conversation in the time that you took to figure out what the first thing I said meant. Change it? Don't want to. It's me.
17. When was the last time you were afraid that you were about to die? Did you feel grateful or lucky to be alive afterward?
Never truly had that feeling that I can recall
18. If you were to die tomorrow is there anything you wish you would have done? Not done?
Had a kid. Gotten through to my mother.
19. If you were forced to flee a burning house and you could easily save any item without endangering your life or others, what would you save?
20. What do you feel most ashamed about doing in your life? Most proud of?
Ashamed: not getting this last master's degree earlier in life. In a lot of ways, I feel like this career path of mine could have gone a lot smoother if I was more prepared, less fearful, and more knowledgeable about exactly what I want to do. Not working right now compounds those feelings greatly.
Proud: Figuring out how I wanted my like to look. having that plan is something totally new to me and although it came a little late for my tastes (I'm 37), at least I can see things coming to fruition.
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