There's something about me that rubs people the wrong way. I don't know what it is, or why it is. But I know that it just is. Often times, I'm getting misunderstood. I'm just being myself, chilled and relaxed, and people accuse me of having all these evil vindictive traits. However, I know for a fact that I have a mean streak. When someone pisses me off I can be particularly mean. But I choose not to be like that most of the time, because in most instances it is not even worth it. I'm learning to live and let live.
I have never understood why people have labeled me in this way. Maybe it's what they heard about me and are just reading way too much into it. Then there have been times when my suggestions or ideas have been taken out of context. It seems like whenever that happens it's negative. I guess that's why I never actually have anything to say, cause I get annoyed at being misunderstood all the damn time.
Most times when I'm around people, I just keep to myself because I know that someone is always going to dispute my ideas or try to call me out on my opinions. I hate folks like that. When they act like that it means they don't honestly care for you or your ideas and it really has everything to do with who they think I am. I swear that I have been in situations where people have actually verbally provoked me in so many words to not only get into an altercation with me, but a physical fight. All because they don't like me. Get in line, bitches! It's a very long and an always-growing line. If you don't like me for truly petty stupid reasons, that's your problem not mine.
What I have also learned just by being a good and patient observer is that people watch our every fucking move to see if we're going to do something that they don't like. Either they immediately call it out, or they get into a huddle and talk about it when you're not around. I am the most understanding and down-to-earth person that I know, but when I'm upset, it takes hours to days for me to cool down depending on how serious it was.
I don't like to argue, and I can't be around a person that won't let nothing go. Some people act like they have to let you know where they've been and what they've done. It's one thing to be excited to share an experience with a friend. Friendly people want to share the things they're doing with you and invite you when they are going somewhere they wish you could be. Then, there are the assholes who so badly want to rub their superiority in your face. It's like they telling you, "I've done more shit in my life than you, so get on my level."
You can almost smell how serious an asshole wants to rub it in your face because their anticipation excites them. When they start to speak, you know it's a dick move because of how loud and animated they become as they explain the heights of their former glory. It's nice to hear about sometimes, but when they constantly interject the same tired ass story into a conversation that has nothing to do with you, it's annoying and I'm just going to ignore them. They're not going to make me feel like I haven't accomplished enough in my life or make me feel like I haven't done enough; they're only going to make themselves look like the ass that they are. No, my experience is completely different from yours, and I have lived, maybe not more than you, but I have lived.
It feels good to not be the center of attention. My reason is that you can always see who is actually enjoying your presence and personality. I'd rather be incognito at my own party, watching everyone have a good time rather than trying to impress people I barely know with shit they could care less about. At least I can observe who my friends are and spot people I might want to be friends with. I never like being around people who really don't want me there. My family taught me that. But's that's a whole nother story.
|KENOKI BLACKDOG HARVEY|
Male Media Mind